Why fatherhood comes at the expense of your career

Marie Benattar

"When I think of my male friends and their careers, they are not quite leaning in and they are quite leaned on." For the most part, they are slacking. ?

I'm a mediocre employee. Even before the start of the work, I am often already wrung from the turmoil for the children at the school. I usually have only managed to start work at 10 and at 17:40, I dash for the return of screaming children.

Whenever someone's work calls me and asks: "Can you turn this around this weekend?" I think that: "You must be crazy." On weekends, screaming children continues from 07 to 20 without any children, I could fit a whole week of extra work. I would be a much more desirable employee.

This could all be dismissed as whine of the father of the only man, it was not that I speak to a generation of dads. Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook, seems to assume in his best-selling book Lean in that men "lean in" to their career, gunning for the rest of the corner, while women 'lean outside.' This is not what I see. More and more dads are ' rely on ' too. We found a terrible truth: men cannot have both.

When I think of my male friends and their careers, they are not quite leaning in and they are not quite looked on. For the most part, they collapsed. Like me, they're trying to juggle a decent job with getting teeth kids' brushed twice per day (when possible). Almost no father I know Max tries his career. A friend works as consultant of her lovely house in the countryside. It could have executed a large facility at the top of his profession, he said, but then it would never be home.

Another friend had a nice job in London, but plans to return to his country for a lesser job when his hit children of the school, because it is their service. A third friend is divorced, cannot live in a different city of his children and is therefore probably probablement condamne condemned the choice of career in his small town, until he is 50 years - date at which his career will be anyway. Same Sandberg own husband, Dave, inevitably a massive dinner, does not seem to be based permanently. He reluctantly left his job than Yahoo in Los Angeles so that the family could live together full-time. Sandberg writes: 'kept her job search to the San Francisco area, which has been a sacrifice on his part, since most of his professional interests and contacts were in Los Angeles' course, he finally got another top job, as CEO of SurveyMonkey, but little common mortals could make such a leap without damage of the career.

Nowadays, you must take the career of the wife into account, too. An international company, I know was recently trying to fill two jobs in Paris. CA you please, right? Well, almost nobody does's headquarters in London applied. It appeared that no employee - male or female - believed coming home to tell the partner, ' honey, quit your job. '' We leave for Paris. "Next page >

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