Experience: I've worn the same outfit as my husband for 35 years

'We have four wardrobes of twin outfits, hanging two by two.' Photograph: Webb Chappell for the Guardian

When I met Donald, he always wore a?suit and tie. He had a?very formal upbringing and refused to take off his jacket, so when he came to visit one hot and humid summer, I thought he was going to melt. I?came up with a plan: I made him a short-sleeved shirt as a gift, knowing he'd wear it so as not to hurt my feelings. It?worked, and after we married I?carried on making his shirts.

The man at the fabric shop was always very generous when he cut my fabric, so, after checking Donald didn't mind, I would make myself a?matching blouse with the leftovers. It was fun going out in coordinating shirts – in high school in the US, it means you're "going steady", which was a giggle to us, since we were married. We got lots of compliments and people who would normally just walk on by stopped to talk to us. We?enjoyed the attention and we also enjoyed how we looked.

Then Donald suggested I?make our bottom halves match, too, so we started amassing a whole wardrobe of clothes. Initially we matched only at weekends, but as I?grew adept at making more complex garments, such as jackets, sweaters and coats, we decided to go full-time with our identical look. We never needed to go clothes shopping again.

Now, 35 years on, we have four wardrobes of twin outfits, hanging two by two, organised by season and occasion. I always make myself a?feminine version of Donald's outfit, though; it's not unisex, because I like ruffles and girly things. I'd describe our style as traditional – we're not concerned about following fashion.

We find it funny when watching those crime shows and they say, "What was he wearing when you last saw him?" We could just point to ourselves and say, "This!"

If we need a new outfit, we go to the fabric shop together and pick out something we both like. Donald is an artist – he designed the now iconic pink plastic flamingos you see in gardens – so has an excellent eye for colour and is comfortable wearing distinctive designs. Whenever I?see flamingo fabric, I buy some and make us an outfit; we now have more than 40 in their own special closet.

Whoever gets there first gets to choose what we're wearing. It's not a stampede, though; we're both amenable to the other's choice. If we're going to a party, we'll discuss what to wear like any other couple, except the difference is we want to look the same. Someone once told me that if she and her husband came down wearing the same colour top, they'd change. What a shame to be so insecure. We both have very strong identities as individuals and wearing the same clothes doesn't affect this; clothes don't make your personality. Instead, dressing the same gives me a lovely feeling of closeness to Donald. I've never not felt like doing it; we've done it for so long now that it would feel unnatural not to.

Donald used to have to travel for business and when I packed his case, I'd tell him which outfit to wear on which day, so we coordinated even though we were apart. It helped us feel connected to each other. But his boss realised Donald was much more productive if I came along, too, so I'd help out at the conventions. It was good for business, because people would seek out our stall year after year to see what we were wearing.

We don't like to be apart. Donald proposed on our first date and we've been together almost all the time since. If you want to do things by yourself, why get married? Why have separate hobbies? We never argue – Donald says he learned long ago to say, "Yes, dear", but in fact it's because we have a strong foundation. Being with him is never an effort.

As we spend all our time together, we always eat the same food, too, which is good because we have matching stains on our outfits.

If people in the street snigger or nudge each other, I don't mind. In?fact, it makes me laugh. We once saw Dr Ruth, the TV psychiatrist, in a?department store. She was making her way over to us – probably to comment on our matching coats and hats – but we eluded her. It's one thing to get negative comments from strangers but quite another to have unwanted psychological suggestions, implying dependency issues or something similar. All it is is a positive reflection of the nature of our relationship. We're a matched set.

‧ As told to Emily Cunningham

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