Renaming one-night stands: Adult sleepovers

You know how one minute you're in a happy and fulfilling marriage and the next you find out that your husband of 20 years has been cheating on you with someone 10 years younger? Well, I do.

I went from country club wife and mother of high school students to a single, 39-year-old “cougar.” In this weekly feature, I will share with you all the mind-boggling, head-scratching, is-this-someone's-idea-of-a-joke moments from my so-called single life. Consider this your private invitation to my tremendous learning curve…

Uh! Damn the single life!

Let me share with you what my new life as a “cougar” is missing, besides a husband. Accountability! I operate much better in the confines of a committed relationship, and one of the biggest reasons is the accountability of having to look another person in the face and be honest. I've never been a good liar, and I don't admire people who are skilled at that. So even though when I was married I got hit on, and like most women I formed my little crushes, I never strayed. In the 20 plus years I was married, I never so much as kissed another man. I couldn't imagine a more hurtful thing to do to someone else (my ex-husband was not plagued by such beliefs).

I no longer have someone I have to face if I screw up, and my kids are adults, so we're just on the “courtesy text” program?— if one of us is going to be gone for the night, we text the others so no one worries.

With no one to answer to, I flounder. I embrace being single?— I really do love it. I love eating what I want for dinner and when I want to eat it. I love watching what I want to watch on TV. I love that I come and go as I please, and I don't have to check in to see if anyone needs me to do any bi*** chores for them. After two decades of considering other people's schedules and feelings, this is the upside to a lack of accountability.

I'm not kidding. I've also come to the hard realization that if evil exists in this world, it is routed in loneliness. I'll be cruising along for a couple of months in my, “I'll be where I'm at” frame of mind and boom! Out of nowhere I'll feel lonely. Loneliness is followed by self-pity, which is typically followed by poor decisions.

So yeah, answering to no one is all well and good until you desperately need to answer to someone to keep you out of trouble. Regular readers of mine know that last week I dodged a bullet with a fine, young 31-year-old ("Zach") and was so proud of myself for not sleeping with him.

“Round 2 of resisting Zach” didn't go so well. We had another fun-filled night, and he showed me to my upstairs room, like I had requested. Then that sneaky little bastard asked if I wanted to get in the hot tub. I knew crawling into the upstairs bed, when his was downstairs, would be the wiser choice. I knew if I got in the hot tub, it would be game on.

I woke up the next morning and retrieved my swimsuit out of the hot tub, so I'll leave it to you to do the math. While I'm not proud of what transpired, I'm no longer going to beat myself up about it. I didn't ask to be in my early 40s and single?— that was my ex's choice. I'm doing what I can. I don't stumble often, but as a human, I get lonely and need to get laid once in a while. Is that honest enough for you?

To make myself feel better though, I am renaming one-night stands "adult sleepovers," because that is exactly what Zach and I did. We had a slumber party like when we were kids and just threw in some sex. It happens.

The time I mixed booze, Facebook and my love life
My single most vengeful act against my ex
Goody, just what I need?— more dating advice

View the original article here

When the adult sleepover has consequences

You know how one minute you're in a happy and fulfilling marriage and the next you find out that your husband of 20 years has been cheating on you with someone 10 years younger? Well, I do.

I went from country club wife and mother of high school students to a single, 39-year-old "cougar." In this weekly feature, I will share with you all the mind-boggling, head-scratching, is-this-someone's-idea-of-a-joke moments from my so-called single life. Consider this your private invitation to my tremendous learning curve…

Last week, you may recall that in a profound lapse in judgment, I had an “adult sleepover” with the 31-year-old, ever-persistent Zach. I have several excuses for my poor behavior?— I was stressed, lonely, had gone through a dry spell and the always-classy “I had too much to drink.” Not my proudest moment to say the least. I justified it by thinking of it as an “adult sleepover” instead of the tackier “one-night stand.”

"There is no consequence-free hook-up."

I was cruising along quite nicely, having reconciled the Zach situation in my head to yet another symptom of being single after decades of marriage. I'm still learning to be single, and in case you haven't gathered yet by reading this column, I suck at it. I have learned certain truths along the way, but I still stumble.

Welcome to my latest face plant. I have met the last three men (including Zach) that I have slept with at the same neighborhood pub. It's in a small town by where I grew up, so I feel safe and comfortable there. In the town I actually live in, I feel like a target if I go out alone. I honestly am not at the pub to meet my next victim, er date?— I go there to hang with familiar friends.

After the Zach slumber party, a guy that has always been in the background recently started to visit with me when I'm at the pub. He's handsome, in great shape and 51 years old. He also is a golf pro, and I love to play golf. When he called and asked if I wanted to go golfing with him Sunday, I could barely contain my excitement. When he called again and asked if I wanted to go to a friend's birthday party Saturday night, I accepted.

While I've been out of town on business, the new man (we'll call him Scott) has been calling and we've been getting to know one other a bit better over the phone. And I really like what he has to say. He seems like a solid, straight-up guy, and best of all, he's an adult.

Scott and Zach run in the same circles. Worse than that, Zach has a reputation that I'm sure a guy like Scott would be less than enthused about. Zach and Scott have a mutual friend who likes to start trouble. I can totally see this guy spilling the beans to Scott about my lapse in judgment with Zach.

So ladies, the moral of the story is there is no consequence-free hook-up. We tell ourselves all the time that it's no big deal and part of being single, but we are kidding ourselves. In this particular case, I now have to come clean with a guy I like, who I think has great potential, about one of my least proud moments. Awesome. I'll let you know how it goes.

The time I mixed booze, Facebook and my love life
My single most-vengeful act against my ex
Goody, just what I need?— more dating advice

View the original article here

A Virtual Realm For Adult People May be a Fun Playground or a Surrogate Social Lifetime

These days, people all over the globe do a considerable part of their socializing through on-line methods. From multiplayer games to email to social networking, you can get innumerable means for us to connect and make contacts by way of the internet. On-line worlds are a great method for social relationship; and they have a remarkably long history. You might be interested in utilizing a virtual world for adults to have fun with your buddies and speak to new individuals.

Basically, an online society is any place where users have admittance to a mutual on-line experience. These are usually immersive, 3D environments. An on-line role enjoying game is a superb example of the basic online world, but there are numerous virtual worlds out there that are devoted to social relationship rather than games.

As they grew out of computer games, virtual worlds began as kid-friendly ventures targeted at young people. It has changed as technology has gotten more advanced and user communities have increased. An on-line world for adults may offer more social features to its users than one created for infants or adolescents. Although the term "adult" tends to put you in mind of sexually-explicit material, adult online worlds aren't conclusively devoted to sex. There are certain worlds that make sexual content essential, some that allow it as an option for users; and also some that have strict limits on explicit behavior.

In case you are enthusiastic about exploring an on-line world for adult people, there is likely one available out-there that fits your comfort zone and your tastes. As working with and maintaining a virtual world is a fairly high-priced proposition, most of them do seek out solutions to get money out of their customers. It has evolved a long way from simple monthly charged model, though, and you may find a variety of different revenue-gathering techniques utilized in virtual worlds. In almost every single case, though, you must have the chance to consider at least some of the online world's content material, before making any financial commitments.

One reason that virtual worlds are willing to permit you to attempt before you acquire is that they're going through lots of competition for users' attention. As talked about in the introductory information, there can be almost limitless ways available for persons to connect with others online. Whereas internet worlds provided a thing unique and innovative in past years; currently, it's quite possible for customers to fulfill their communal needs through many other online solutions. Therefore any internet world for adult people that's considering sticking around is going to be as appealing to new customers as is possible.

In case adult internet worlds seem like a thing you will be interested in exploring, go out and start examining the diverse options available to you. Just bear in mind to get the most from your time and your bucks! As you find an on-line world that looks appealing, take the time to look for alternatives before you devote yourself to it. You will find that there can be some other places to get what you are searching for and they might charge less or suit your demands better.

View the original article here