Reader stories: My summer fling

Summer flings are all about falling in love quickly?— and for a few lucky ones, that head-over-heels love lasts and turns into something more. Let's hear what real women have to say about summer flings!

Why is it that summer flings seem so glorious and romantic? Maybe it's the fantasy of being swept off our feet by an Italian hunk that picks us up on his motorcycle and leaves us with one long-stem rose. Or maybe it's the idea of simply falling in love, having picnics in the park and walking hand-in-hand at sunset. Either way, summer flings are fun, spontaneous and all-consuming. Real women share details of their summer fling and whether or not it lasted, plus we share some tips on what can make them last!

“I had just ended an eight year relationship when I met Stefano, a gorgeous visitor from Italy who looked like what I assumed Edmond Dantes looked like from The Count of Monte Cristo. For three weeks, we zipped around New York, kissing in little bistros and walking through parks. We had espresso in SoHo, wine in the village and both cried by the A train as we said goodbye before he went to catch his flight. He called me before take-off and wrote me as soon as he landed. He attempted to keep it going, but he was a gorgeous playboy and I was heartbroken and madly in love with someone I knew I could not be with, my ex. Stefano and I remain friends and I am so happy to have met him, but I wouldn't date him for any amount of money — heartbreak city!”

Be realistic. If your summer fling happens to be the world's most eligible bachelor, like Brenda's, view the relationship as something short and sweet. Spending all your time and energy trying to get a ladies' man to commit is simply asking for heartbreak.

“This was the first summer I had been single in about five years. Though I was more than open to the idea of a summer fling, I wasn't actively seeking one out. One night while out with friends, I met a tall, dark and handsome man that made my heart skip a beat. He was also interested?— and so our summer fling began. I never thought it would turn into something more. In fact, he dated lots of women and I figured there was no way he was looking to be serious, so why try. He ended up pursuing me throughout the summer and into the fall… and winter… and spring… and summer again and now we're happily married. When I'm mad at him, I look back at our first summer together and can't help but smile.”

Let the man pursue you. We love that Elizabeth didn't pour her whole heart into her summer fling and wind up heartbroken. It's the man's job to pursue you?— let him. If he wants it to be something more?— as in Elizabeth's case?— you'll be the first to know.

"I had a summer fling last summer that worked out great for awhile. The guy was successful, handsome, owned his own place and liked me (of course!). He had great qualities and we had fun together...until he wanted to know 'where this was going.' Yikes! I wasn't looking for anything serious. It's called a 'fling' for a reason!"

Know what you want. We love that Madeline wasn't looking for anything more than a casual dating experience and she stayed true to herself. When dating or in a serious relationship, the most important thing you can do is stay true to who you are. You should never feel pressured to change your goals or ambitions strictly to please someone else - especially when it comes to summer flings!

Have you ever experienced a summer fling? Did it last? Share in the comments below!

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My summer fling bought me a ring!

Sowing your wild oats typically doesn't turn into a long-lasting committed relationship-turned-marriage. In fact, most times that's exactly the opposite of what you'd expect out of a one-time fling. But sometimes, life has an interesting way of changing things up!

As ironic as it sounds, Bethany Herwegh's love story began on the set of a film. Her personal romantic life played out like the scenes of a low budget film she was working on. Here, this wide-eyed 24-year-old college graduate met the 31-year-old man she'd soon marry... and live happily ever after.

Almost 15 years ago, Bethany graduated from Boston University with a degree in costume design. Originally from Los Angeles, she was thrilled to be back at home, after having spent the past six years in the Northeast. She managed to land a job as an on-set costume designer for a super low budget movie. After a few weeks prepping for the show with the wardrobe department, this fresh-out-of-college graduate was ready for her first job in the real world.

While on set, Bethany's job was to take care of all of the clothing, making sure the continuity of the clothes was exactly the same from scene to scene. In order to do so, she needed be on set, but off camera, watching how the clothes moved on the actors. As it was her first day, Bethany was on set early. She staked her area and then sat down to watch what was going on. She could see the cinematographer giving directions to the lighting and camera crews. She heard the director barking orders to his assistants, and she noticed that the grips were doing all the hard work. But what really caught her eye wasn't a what at all — it was a who.

She spotted a very handsome young man, who she describes as tall, blonde and with a good jawline. He was standing pretty close to her watching the set. At that moment, one of the actors, a little boy about 10 years old, remembered her from costume fittings the week prior. He came right up to her and pointed to the handsome man and said, "That guy loves you," loud enough for both of them to hear! Needless to say, she was mortified and quickly hushed him.

At that point, the man came up and introduced himself and the couple got to talking. Turns out he was the on-set dresser, which meant that just as she was to keep track of the wardrobe continuity, he had to make sure the sets looked the same every time they shot a scene. So, because they both needed to be on set all the time, they ended up spending hours together, just talking and working.

When she found out he was much older by a whole seven and a half years, she was shocked and didn't know what to think. Though it doesn't seem like a big difference to her now, when she was 24, she questioned why this 31-year-old man wasn't married. Was there something wrong with him? That thought, coupled with his body tattoos, solidified her final answer: He wasn't marriage material. As far as she was concerned, he was one-night stand material.

They decided to go on their first date (and night!) after the movie wrapped at the end of August. A year to the day after that first date, this tall, blonde man with a great jawline asked Bethany to marry him and a year after that, they had the ceremony?— August of the year 2000.

They wrote their story on their marriage program, dedicating it to the little boy who introduced them, who they consider their little cupid.

Do you have a story like this? Share your fling turned into a ring story with us!

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How To Turn A Fling Into A Relationship

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"Today, courting, dating and waiting for that first kiss are pretty much an old-school joke." 

In my mind, every relationship pretty much starts off as a fling. We live in a world now where courtship, as they once called it, kind of doesn’t really exist. We meet people through friends or at bars or shows, and we drunkenly hook up. If the sex is decent and that person doesn’t totally repulse us when the sun rises and we sober up, we might think about giving them a text again some day. This is one version of the way we shack up.

The other involves the internet. Forget about the mundane regularity of dating sites (meeting someone online is no longer just reserved for so-called pathetic nerds and widows, but for all of us), social media and online profiles allow us to completely scope out, stalk and judge potential suitors from the comfort of our smartphones.

We can communicate in the online world for months without ever meeting IRL -- that’s web talk for “In Real Life” -- and get to know that person through our carefully calculated online personalities and Facebook profiles. So, when we eventually do meet up IRL, we feel as though we know one another and intimacy occurs quickly.

Today, courting, dating and waiting for that first kiss are pretty much an old-school joke. We have careers to focus on, friends to hang out with and our own satisfaction comes first. Flings just work in our fast-paced world.

But what happens when your hookup partner starts to seem like an attractive option for a real relationship? How do you venture into that new territory? How do you turn a fling into the real thing?

Let’s assume that you and your fling have been hooking up for a seemingly significant amount of time. This is why you’re interested in taking it to the next level. Before vocalizing any interest in turning your casual hookups into a full-blown relationship, I suggest perception. Look at the nature of your current situation.?

Do you only text one another for late-night sex? Do you hook up when you are sober or just drunk? Do you have sleepovers, or do you leave after the sex is over? Have you ever shared a meal, hung out and actually had a decent conversation??

Who does the initiating of your meet-ups? Is it generally even? Do you know one another’s friends? Is your sexual relationship a secret or is it known by your friendship circles? Do you feel respected by him/her on a human level? Could you imagine being friends with this person??

From my experience (and, trust me, I have a lot of experience) the most loving, lasting and healthy relationships are the ones where you feel as though you are dating your best friend -- someone you trust indefinitely and can grow with. Next Page >>

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