The Beauty and Importance of Relationships

Nature has shaped mankind to live together, build relationships and depend on others. Without a shoulder to cry on or a friend to celebrate with, the life as we know it will lose all its importance and meaning. Events would be dull and grey if we didn't have anyone to share love, happiness, kindness, sadness and much more. Relationships are not just between a husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend - it can also be with family, friends, coworkers and even pets! Women and men both have very different opinions of each other and find it hard to understand each other's behaviors at the best of times.

Many people strive to build and maintain relationships. Some believe that a man and a woman are two wheels of the same cart that are destined to fall in love and glide along the realms of life together. People fall in and out of love all the time; building new relationships and letting old ones go. Relationships can be tough to manage, but there are many benefits and advantages of having one. Below are some great reasons to be in a relationship.

When you share your life with someone, you do not have to endure the stress of life alone. Studies have shown that those who have healthy relationships are less likely to suffer from psychological issues such as depression and paranoia in their later years because they have gone through a significantly less amount of mental pressure in their earlier lives. Being able to talk about your problems after a long day at work is healthy for the body and mind.Having a relationship can build up your personality and confidence. Most relationships take hard work to maintain, so you will need to have the ability to speak your mind when problems arise as no relationship can make it through without having some kind of disagreement. The ability to be open and honest about your feelings can be a transferable skill that you can use in other aspects of your daily affairs.A relationship can open your eyes and give you the ability to get to know yourself better. Having a few failed relationships will test your own personality and you will get to know your own habits and needs for a better relationship in the future.You get to share exciting times and do things together; cooking meals, going out for dinners, parties and spending holidays together are all great reasons to be in a relationship. Sharing your time, home and love with someone can make you happy and content with life, especially when you may be feeling low and depressed as your partner can lift your spirits. He/she is there to motivate and encourage you to be all that you can be.Starting a family is a huge step for most people, but when you are in a stable relationship you can start a family with your loved one and begin to settle down and make a home with someone. Having a family can give you a purpose in life and something to live for.

There are many benefits of having a relationship. This article has outlined a few of the positive aspects of being in a relationship with someone that you love and who loves you. Starting a family, being able to talk about your stressful day and generally being with someone can improve your health and wellbeing.

If you have relationship problems and need some advice, you can ask relationship questions and get some well-balanced advice on how to solve your problems from other members of the community. Help others and give advice - a problem shared is a problem havled! Rate this Article

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Vinny G Papay has published 5 articles. Article submitted on July 24, 2013. Word count: 557

My 6th Universal Law of Relationships says: Women want to respect men and be respected. In relationships and in the art of seduction, it is important that both partners walk out of there feeling good about themselves, and without any loss of respect for each other.

Written by: Andre SKamer

Saving a relationship can be a difficult task as there are usually a number of contributing factors that lead to a relationship break down. This article will address the five most common causes of a relationship break up.

Written by: S Sellars

Infidelity doesn't have to define the end of the relationship. In fact, it can be the catalyst for change and a new beginning for a couple who had started losing touch with one another. Getting past infidelity can gift you and your husband with a marriage that is better than ever.

Written by: Gillian Reynolds

The pain that one feels when he/she was cheated on by his/her spouse is immeasurable. And infidelity is one of the reasons why many marriages end up in divorce.

Written by: Barbara Longsworth

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Why long-distance relationships aren't as bad as we thought

Dating study has surprising results

A new study published in the Journal of Communication finds that long-distance relationships can be better than in-person relationships.

Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Yes — at least according to the results of a new study by psychologists Crystal Jiang and Jeffrey T. Hancock.

According to the study, couples together over long distances have more meaningful interactions and higher intimacy levels than those together all of the time. The reason? Their face-to-face interactions are limited, so they have deeper conversations about love and the future when they do talk.

"Besides communication frequency, they also adapt their messages, for example, by focusing on more limited but relationally intense topics," Jiang told USA Today. "The intimacy developed here is a psychological closeness?— it doesn't include physical or sexual intimacy."

The study asked 63 couples in their early 20s to fill out a week's worth of daily online surveys about the quantity and quality of their interactions with their significant others. Researchers learned that most of the interactions were via text, video chats and phone calls.

"As a researcher, I'm not surprised with the results because it can be explained by the adaptive nature of human communication," Jiang told the newspaper. "But for the general public, I bet they are surprised. One of the reasons is that they strongly believe long distance relationships are challenging."

Well, they are challenging — especially when it comes to trust. However, this study shows that it's possible to have a successful relationship even with thousands of miles between you and your S.O.

Still worried about the physical side of your long-distance relationship? There's always Skype — and we've heard that it can be more exciting than regular skin-on-skin contact!

Have you had a successful long-distance relationship?

Share your tips below!

Survey says sex on the first date isn't as bad as we think
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How can we protect our daughters from abusive relationships?

Where do children learn about domestic violence? The top source is soap operas. Photograph: Corbis/posed by models

When I became the mother of one, then two, girls I would occasionally think about the prevalence of eating disorders and what I could do to make sure my girls never suffered from one. But the more I worked in my job on this section, and in my role as patron of a women's legal organisation, I realised that there was a greater ill that could befall them: getting into an abusive domestic relationship. Two weeks ago, I got a particularly disturbing letter from a reader who suspects her sister is in such a relationship. The sister had isolated herself from her whole family, and when they had last seen her, she appeared terrified. I couldn't stop thinking about it; 48 hours later the Sunday papers showed Nigella Lawson in a row with her husband, his hand around her throat.

Domestic violence is a particularly pernicious crime. The very place where you are meant to feel safe – home – is often the place of most danger. The very person who should look after you – your partner – attacks you or diminishes you. I wish I could say I can't imagine what that is like, but unfortunately, as I'll explain later, I can.

In March 2013, the Home Office published figures relating to violence against women and girls in the UK. It showed that the previous year, 1.2 million women suffered domestic abuse. And these are just the ones that come on to the Home Office radar.

Two women every week are killed by a partner or former partner. One in four women will, at some point in their life, experience domestic violence. I must pause here to say that domestic abuse can happen to anyone, of any background and of either sex. But research shows that the majority of abuse is perpetrated by men, against women.

My immediate environment, the one over which I have most influence, is as a mother to two girls. Was there, I wondered, anything I could do to protect my daughters from such a relationship?

"The biggest risk factor is being female," says Sandra Horley, Refuge's Chief Executive and author of Power And Control, Why Charming Men Can Make Dangerous Lovers. "Yes, build their self-esteem, make them confident, encourage outside interests. But ultimately, the woman with the highest self-esteem and the most loving family can find herself in a violent relationship and over time her self-esteem will be eroded."

I should have known this. When I was younger I found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship, though it took me a while to realise it. It didn't last long, but by the end of it my self-esteem was wrecked, I doubted my own judgment and I didn't know which way was up.

It started subtly. Despite being attracted to me because I was funny and vivacious, if I was too funny or vivacious at parties, he would come over and whisper in my ear that we had to leave, because he "wasn't enjoying himself". When we got home, he would analyse my behaviour of that evening. How could I have left him standing on his own? How could I have been funnier than him? How could I have talked to all those men? How did I think that made him feel? When I went for a new job and a pay rise that would have seen me earning more than him, he said, "You won't get it and neither should you."

He lent me his mobile phone. It was some time later that I realised that, of course, by so doing he could trace my calls. He'd check my home phone bills, which were itemised, and ask me who I'd called. Once, when I was out, the mobile battery ran out. I went into a state of panic because I couldn't be reached. "Just tell him the battery ran out," the friend I was with said, perfectly reasonably. "You don't understand …" I found myself saying.

He wasn't violent, but his reactions were. Have I mentioned how utterly charming he was to the outside world? He never said a bad word against me to others so if I complained, I was always the bad guy.

In thinking about writing this, I realised that I personally know seven women who have been in abusive relationships. They are mostly, now, confident, high-achieving women. What hope was there? Surely there is something we can do to protect our children, our loved ones?

The really big thing we can do, Horley says, is education. We can educate our children – boys too – to know the signs of domestic abuse and the myths about it. We can teach them that domestic violence can take many forms and is not always physical. This is important because if more women realised that abuse can take many forms, they would understand at an earlier stage in the relationship what was going on. Research among young women shows that while 95% of women recognise physical abuse as domestic violence, just over a quarter knew about the more subtle signs of a controlling relationship.

We can teach our children about the correct way to deal with emotions such as anger and frustration, and that it's never OK to hit another person. Currently, where do our children learn about this? The top source is from soap operas, where the information may or may not be accurate. Only 13% had learned about it at school. The logical place would be in Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE), but even in schools where PSHE is taught, (it is not compulsory although the sex education element is) domestic abuse is rarely covered. End Violence Against Women, a national campaigning coalition, called recently for MPs to support New Clause 20 of the Children and Families bill, to include consent and relationships education in the national curriculum; the House of Commons voted against it on 11 June.

"Domestic abuse," says Horley. "is a reflection, on an individual scale, of how women are treated on a larger scale in society. It's subtle, cumulative and often, but not always, first shows itself when a woman makes a commitment to a man." The abuse, she goes on to explain, is gradual and the man manipulates the woman into thinking it's her fault, that she is to blame.

"You start to doubt your judgment, you start to change your behaviour to appease. Control can be physical, psychological, emotional, social, sexual, financial. The aim of the behaviour is to take control. It's confusing because the abuser can be so charming."

Jealously and possessiveness, she goes on to explain, are the two big signs to watch for; that and the man who seems charming one minute and terrifying the next. "Men being possessive stops women socialising. It isolates them. And being charming one minute, that switching [mood] all the while, means you start to doubt your own judgment. Women can live in hope for the 'good parts' – it's exhausting."

If the abuse is physical, she advises, "Never ignore that first push, that first shove."

There are many myths about domestic violence, that it's due to alcohol or stress, that in some way the abused person caused it or deserved it, that it only happens to certain types of people. But they are just that: myths. No one does anything to deserve to be hit or controlled. Lots of people get drunk and are stressed and don't hit their partners. The decision to be abusive is the perpetrator's alone and the perpetrator alone must take responsibility for it.

Much has been made recently of the fact that Nigella Lawson's mother was "abusive", as if this somehow predisposed her daughter to accepting violence. I now realise that in thinking that I could have any influence over whether my girls might get into a DV relationship, I have played into perhaps the greatest myth of domestic abuse: that it is somehow our fault. It isn't. It never was. But we can all learn more about it so that if it does happen, we know what to look for and what to do. Domestic abuse is everybody's business.

‧ Is he – or she – possessive and jealous?

‧ Does he or she try to isolate you from friends and family?

‧ Does he or she they criticise you, either privately or in front of others?

‧ Does he or she try to control you?

‧ Does he or she pressurise you into having sex?

‧ Are you afraid of your partner?

‧ Do you modify your behaviour to appease him or her?

‧ Do you feel as if you are treading on egg shells?

‧ Does your partner change moods suddenly? Charming one minute, terrifying the next?

‧ Does your partner create a bad atmosphere at home so family and friends don't visit you?

More warning signs at: http://refuge.org.uk/about-us/campaigns/early-warning-signs/

How to tell if someone you love is being abused and what you can do to help

‧ They may change their behaviour, act one way in front of you, another in front of their partner.

‧ They may stop seeing you, break contact with you and appear frightened (like someone's 'looking over their shoulder') when they do see you.

‧ They may be overwhelmed by fear, and think they are to blame.

Give them time to open up. Say something like "I'm worried about you, concerned for your safety."

‧ Don't judge them (this is really important), they will be feeling bad about themselves already.

‧ Reassure them that the abuse is not their fault and it's against the law.

‧ Don't run their partner down, this may embarrass the person who is being abused. They will be feeling embarrassed and guilty enough.

‧ Don't tell them to "just leave". If it was that easy they would have left already. Tell them you support them and put them in touch with agencies that can help. Research shows that men can be the most violent at the point of separation.

‧ 24-hour National Domestic Violence freephone helpline: 0808 2000 247

‧ refuge.org.uk

‧ womensaid.org.uk

‧ nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk

‧ familieswithoutfear.org.uk

‧ mensadviceline.org.uk

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Labour calls for lessons on relationships in national curriculum

The Department for Education has indicated that teachers can teach 'relationships' if they wish. The amendment would make this and other issues a compulsory part of the curriculum. Photograph: Martin Argles for the Guardian

Labour has tabled an amendment to the children and families bill which could make issues such as equality, abuse and same-sex relationships a compulsory part of the curriculum.

The amendment from three shadow Home Office ministers would add the teaching of issues such as consent to the curriculum covering biology. The amendment, due to be voted on next Tuesday, is unlikely to receive support from the government as the education secretary, Michael Gove, has made it clear that he believes school lessons are better spent focusing on academic subjects.

In a speech to the education select committee in April he suggested that teaching other subjects was a better guard against what he called "risky behaviour". "If you look at the way in which we can encourage students not to indulge in risky behaviour, one of the best ways we can do that is by educating them so well in a particular range of subjects that they have hope in the future.

"There is a direct correlation between how well students are doing overall academically and their propensity to fall into risky behaviour."

The Department for Education (DfE) has indicated that teachers can teach "relationships" if they wish. Groups including Women's Aid, the Family Planning Association and the National Union of Students are among a dozen groups supporting the amendment. Maggie Atkinson, children's commissioner, welcomed the campaign after a report last month which showed that children's access to pornography led to "harmful attitudes and behaviours". The report recommended that the Department for Education "should ensure that all schools understand the importance of, and deliver, effective relationship and sex education which must include safe use of the internet".

The DfE is considering including gardening and personal finance as part of the personal social health and economic (PSHE) education curriculum.

The shadow home affairs minister, Stella Creasy, said: "When we're teaching children about compost and compound interest but not consent, something has to change. Sexual harassment, violence and abuse affects millions of young people in Britain – that's why we have to teach them not only about the biology of sex but to respect each other and have healthy relationships. This coalition shows just how many parents, domestic violence and sexual health charities agree as well as young people themselves. Hoping schools will do this isn't good enough – it's time to put consent on the curriculum."

Parliament debated the merits of making sex and relationships education compulsory earlier this year as the Jimmy Savile and Rochdale child abuse scandals brought the issue of sexual abuse to the top of the national agenda.

Women's Aid ambassador and singer Jahmene Douglas said: "Following the debate in parliament in February this bill presents the government with a great opportunity to ensure that all children have access to the good quality sex and relationship education they need and are asking for."

Laura Bates, founder of the Everyday Sexism Project, which has received 30,000 reports of sexual harassment since launching a little more than a year ago, said: "The huge number of stories the Everyday Sexism Project has received from children and teenagers shows beyond doubt that there is an urgent need for far greater information and support to be provided in schools. Many of the young people who contact us are confused and scared about sex they have seen in videos shared online or on mobile phones. Others have reported the far end of the playground being called 'the rape corner' and young people saying 'rape is a compliment really' in classroom discussions. It is time to ensure this most vital of topics is properly covered by the national curriculum."

Even Ofsted recently found that PSHE is not good enough in a "substantial proportion of schools" and that this is leaving young people vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.

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How to maintain long term relationships

Sony Pictures Classics

' You will not always be 22 and carefree and mounted on a train through Europe, you wonder if you doodle in your journal or make a NAP. '' 

If you pay attention to the tabloids, longevity in relationships is the stuff of myths and legends. Kim Kardashian and her expression of 72 days of eternal love, Heidi Klum and Seal - same, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman almost divided after 30 years together. One might think that, after some time, you would have the thing whole relationship down to a science. The problem is science has nothing to do with it. Relationships are messy and love, sometimes sucks.

Of course, there are these moments where it is better to break it off. Did you find your better half has had 15 different men sexting? Probably wise to pass. The Queen of all your dreams turns out to be a serial cupboard killer? Call the cops and him empty. Yet, we are all so trigger-happy nowadays it seems that very few people wants to face the difficult, unpleasant, somewhat romantic phases of a relationship. Not the "Oh, shit! My girlfriend is Ted Bundy "moments. I mean regular, daily, "this person crazy me now" moments. You won't always 22 and carefree and mounted on a train through Europe, you wonder if you doodle in your journal or make a NAP. Finally you are 40, settles, raising binoculars and you don't have time spontaneously hop a train to Vienna and roll naked in a park with someone you just met.

This dilemma is at the heart of midnight, the third installment of Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke the history of the long and winding relationship between American Jesse and Celine French.

If you are a diehard of the first two movies groupie, like I am, you remember that Celine and Jesse first locked eyes in 1995, while they were in their twenties.?It was love at first sight, and they wandered through Vienna all night talking about life and philosophy and books. They were wrapped up in this first race of attraction that makes you feel like you could die just right this moment because it is all just wonderful. Nine years later, in 2004, they combine once again before the sunset. Today, Celine and Jesse were in their thirties and were more concerned about the career and the future they were tonight here in Vienna. The mystery and romanticism were still there, however. Next Page >

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