A mother who holds the baggage of trauma has been seen refraining herself from discussing any emotional issue at length with their children.
And this is what a study reveals which shows a big impact of mother's experiences on her style of parenting.
Why a mother does avoid discussing emotional issues?
When a mother herself undergoes a great deal of trauma in her childhood, the memories is so strong in her mind that she sometimes fails to recover out of them. And this becomes a part of her personality. The trauma is so deep seated that it does not come out of her mental system. And whenever she comes across anything similar to the same, she is correlates or remembers her own tragic moments. A person with such a mental state finds it difficult to listen to any such issue, leave alone providing a solution to it.
How does it affect the child?
The childhood of a child comes once. And this is the time when many issues crop up, which may need a stable handling and an emotional understanding too. The first person a child falls back upon is the mother for any kind of emergency he is into.
This means, if the mother is not quite stable emotionally, then she may not be able to meet the requirements of motherhood.
In the process the gap in the child's life would remain as it is without being resolved. Hence, leaving the child's story an incomplete one where he could not learn to handle an emotional issue because he could not get an opportunity to imbibe it from his mother.
What is the way out?
Keeping the future generation in mind, whenever a child undergoes any emotional trauma, the adults or the parents around should take charge of the situation and ensure that it is out of the system of the victim. Otherwise, it is seen to be leaving a deep scar on one's mind affecting the entire personality.
Hence the counselling can be done either at home or a professional help can also be looked for.
What if the issue is not dealt on time?
With time, any emotional pain gets deeper and deeper leaving a large impact on the life of the person and the generation associated with him of her. It reflects in the behaviour and it also "shows upon" the various relationships one shares. Motherhood is certainly one of the important rather the most vital relationship and it gets affected largely.
Summary
They say, for a child to be happy, a mother has to be happy first. Hence, a traumatized mother would certainly feel uncomfortable accepting or witnessing something similar in her child's life. To handle the same would be another mammoth task for. In spite of bets of her intentions and wishes she may not be able to deliver at this juncture and therefore there would be another personality growing up "not so competent" to handle an emotional turmoil in life.
