When the phone rang and it was my childhood sweetheart on the other end, my first reaction was suspicion. Why?was Kevin ringing me? He had dumped me unceremoniously eight years earlier, preferring to play football with his mates than spend time with?me.
We were 14 when we met, and although it was just a light-hearted teenage relationship, I was heartbroken when Kevin finished with me over the phone after six weeks. I cried for days and would walk past his house hoping to catch a glimpse of him. But I didn't see him and had no choice but to get on with my life.
So when Kevin rang I wasn't bowled over to hear from him. Something else unnerved me, too – he sounded completely different. Older, yes, but also hesitant and unsure of himself, not like him at all. He explained that he was ringing because he had had a brain injury and lost his memory. His therapist had encouraged him to contact childhood friends who might help him patch together his past. My name stuck out when he was browsing through Friends Reunited. He thought we might have known each other.
"Known each other?" Was this a?wind-up? I found it hard to believe Kevin's story and I was more than a?little wary. I got a friend to ring his mum to confirm it and, yes, he had been knocked off his motorbike by a lorry and been thrown in the air, landing on his head. When he came out of a two-day coma, he couldn't recognise anyone – not even his mother – and he had spent eight weeks in hospital having to relearn even simple day-to-day tasks such as using a knife and fork. Gradually, his memory was returning, but there were still massive gaps that he hoped I could help him to fill.
My feelings towards him softened. I didn't feel attracted to this anxious, vulnerable person, but I wanted to help him, so we began to email and talk on the phone. He found that talking about one recollection triggered others and he was gradually piecing together the jigsaw.
After a few weeks we met up. The boy I'd known with surfer-style hair was long gone – the man who answered the door was stocky, with a shaved head. During our meal out, he was quiet and withdrawn, and we were both relieved when I?dropped him off afterwards. I later discovered that it had been his first night out in months.
The brain injury had shattered his confidence, almost literally. During the accident, Kevin's brain was knocked violently against his skull, leaving a deep gouge on the area that controls emotion. Kevin's personality had been radically affected and as his brain slowly rewired itself, he struggled with his feelings. So the awkward silences we'd had weren't due to simple social tensions, but because he was struggling to control a panic attack.
We continued to email and phone, and took to driving to old haunts. As I grew to understand him, my feelings changed. How could I?not warm to this sensitive, kind man? Once we visited the place where we had first kissed as teenagers, and I?reminded him of that. When he asked to kiss me again, I?was delighted.
I was due to go on holiday with friends, and before I left Kevin asked if I would be his girlfriend. The formality of the question made me laugh, but I agreed and our relationship began for the second time in a decade. At times it was very hard for both of us: Kevin struggled with dark moods and would cry often. He questioned why I would want to be with him and said he would understand if I?broke it off, but I could never do that to him. Before the accident he had been about to move to Spain – he had his whole future mapped out, but it had come crashing down. I knew I was one of the few things that buoyed him up during this time.
As the months passed, Kevin's mood stabilised and he didn't need my support so much, and our relationship became one of equals. Six years ago we married and?we now have three-year-old twins, Louis and Olivia. Kevin's memory is?back to normal; if he forgets something, like everyone does, we?laugh that he can't blame the accident, just old age. I?would never?say I?was glad Kevin had his accident, but I am so happy to be with the man he became because of?it.
‧ As told to Emily Cunningham
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