I prefer women who don't shave their pubic hair

Body hair arrangements can enhance or undermine lovemaking. Photograph: John Gollop/Getty Images

I am a single man nostalgic for the days before the fashion for an entirely hairless mons veneris. Am I the only man in the world who still likes a floridly sprouting bush? But "natural" is not without problems: I sometimes find that, having persuaded a woman to avoid pruning, I regret it when curlicues get in the way, causing irritation. Would it be too particular to request an au-naturel appearance, with spot-trimming at entry-point?

Some women might take exception to any expectation regarding preferred topiary, but if you are polite and time it correctly, you may avoid a sharp jab to the goolies. Other women might appreciate the attention to detail, wish to please you, and even find it both a relief and a turn-on. But better not to ask until you have reached an understanding that, as established lovers, you are entitled to make such requests of each other. And don't expect it to be all one-way; ask what accommodations she would like in return (if she has a sense of humour, she will demand a complete "back, sack and crack"). For some highly visually attuned people, body hair arrangements can enhance or undermine lovemaking experiences.

On the other hand, since pheromones that are secreted to play a role in sexual attraction may be held in body hair, biologically, women with more pubic hair are sexier. So essentially, your preference is scientifically based. Play that one up next time.

‧ Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders

‧ If you would like advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@guardian.co.uk (please don't send attachments).

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