Barry, my husband, left our boarding gate to find himself some lunch after waiting for two hours.
Our flight had been delayed and we had been waiting for the flight to be announced. I stayed near the boarding gate for any more flight updates. Our plane rolled into our boarding gate soon after Barry left to get lunch.
I was unworried; there was still plenty of waiting to do. Our plane had to be fueled up and cleaned. Barry was still gone thirty minutes later. Anyone with special needs or small children was asked to start boarding our plane.
I looked at my watch.
Barry was still missing. I moved in my uncomfortable chair. Should I trust that he would be returning?
Fifteen minutes later regular boarding had begun and I was starting to sweat. Something must have gone wrong. Why hadn't he arrived in time?
I picked up our bags and went to go find out what was keeping Barry.
Barry had been waiting for a pizza. Barry's lunch was ordered and he was waiting for his special order.
I informed my husband about our plane finally boarding and that we might have to run to catch it. Our plane was about to leave. I heard the final boarding call. Barry wasn't moving. His lunch was paid for and Barry was going to eat it. I told him I wanted to get home; the flight was leaving. Barry would not leave; his pizza would arrive any second.
I left, racing to catch the plane if I could. Halfway to the gate I stopped. I was breathing hard and I really thought about what I was doing.
Why did I have to make this flight? I didn't have to work the next day. Was I really abandoning my husband in an airport?
I had been married to Barry for 9 months. Did I want to save my marriage? Barry and all of his personality flaws were made obvious before we got married. I knew who Barry was. I could make a detailed list his faults. I think I had a fantasy that all of Barry's negative tendencies and habits would change after our wedding. Crazy, right?
Barry was my husband now. My husband. The gravity of that word sank in. Is being married what I wanted? Was my life still just about what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it? Where did marriage fit into my life? I knew I was correct about catching our flight, but being right didn't seem to measure up in this situation. I couldn't leave Barry in an airport while I went home.
Here is the real rub about marriage that no one tells you while you are trying on wedding gowns. Barry could make a detailed list of my faults as well. If I wanted my husband to stand by me, then I had to stand by him. So, it came down to the promises I had made to Barry when we got married. I had given my word to stand by my husband, and it was that simple.
I found Barry sitting at a plastic orange table eating his lunch when our flight took off. We all have own own moments of truth and that event happened 10 years ago for me. We did not live happily ever after, but there have been very happy times with some bad times, all to be expected. Any relationship requires work.
In a country where the divorce rate is 50% it is easy to throw up your hands and walk away from a marriage. No one would blink an eye at another divorce. The looming chance of divorce had darken my door. Last year Barry and I went through one of our roughest patches.
I kept trying to put the matter off, thinking time would solve the issues, maybe if I just rode out the storm sunshine would appear ahead. I kept hoping that ignoring the problems might make them go away. Finally, Barry confronted me with news that he wanted a divorce.
All of a sudden I felt everything at once. I was furious, I was crying and I felt a surge of love for Barry. My heart had one prayer, to save my marriage. How was I going to do this? I started working my myself, my own perceptions and my reactions. Barry noticed my changes and softened in his approach. One thing lead to another and our marriage is stronger than ever.
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