Getty Images"Yes, Mother’s Day is an invented holiday cooked up by the flowers and chocolate and card industries, and is one of the grand dames of Hallmark Holidays. So what? Your mother loves you."Moms are the best, right? They coddled us and cradled us, made sure we had enough to eat and were well dressed, drove us everywhere and gave us money to spend when we needed it. And if you have kids of your own, who, like mine, veer wildly and suddenly between the angelic and the rotten, you know they don’t always have it easy.
So they’re the best. And Mother’s Day is important. Take it seriously. Here are a few tips to show the moms in your life that you actually don’t take them for granted, even if it might seem that you all too often do.
Do: Buy flowers, chocolates and a card. That’s the absolute minimum, the basic trio. Women love flowers, for some reason, so if you show up with a bouquet of lilies or daisies or even roses, you’ll be on solid ground for the rest of the day. The chocolates have to be fancy, but you don’t need a huge box of them. Quality usually trumps quantity. And the card should be tasteful, not bought in a rush at the local drugstore.
Don’t: Be cynical. Yes, Mother’s Day is an invented holiday cooked up by the flowers and chocolate and card industries, and is one of the grand dames of Hallmark Holidays. So what? Your mother loves you. Even the most committed anarchist should love his mother back. If you must, make her a card, buy ethically grown, pesticide-free flowers and pick up some organic, non-GMO chocolate. Go ahead and Occupy Mother’s Day. Just don’t be a dick about it.
Do: Treat her nicely the moment she wakes up. That means breakfast (in bed, if she’d like), letting her sleep in and getting the kids out of her hair. Croissants or pastries and coffee and juice would do fine. If she likes big breakfasts, make a big breakfast with all the trimmings: eggs, pancakes, crepes, fresh fruit… You know the drill, and it really isn’t complicated. Get the kids to help. Or, if they’re more of a hindrance than help, turn off your bad parenting hangups and turn on the TV for a while. The idea is to get her away from the children.
Don’t: Forget to follow through. Clean up the kitchen, take the kids out of the house and be extra nice to her all day. It’s not Mother’s Morning, it’s Mother’s Day.
Do: Remember your own mother. She also gets the basic trio if possible, and a visit to her grandchildren if applicable. If you don’t have kids of your own, make sure you at least call her. Forgetting is inexcusable and makes you a bad son.
Don’t: Assume that the mother of your kids is going to remember to make sure you remember to call your mother. She probably will remind you anyway, but your esteem will rise if you do it on your own. She also has a mother of her own and will be likely doing good daughter things. It’s expected you pull your own weight.
Do: Listen to what she wants. If she says she’d like the day to herself, give her the day to herself. If she’d like a nice brunch at a local restaurant, do that. A picnic with the family? Start making sandwiches and potato salad. If she asks for something more specific than the basic trio, it’s your job to make sure she gets is.
Don’t: Tell her you aren’t a mind-reader. If she says she doesn’t want anything special, the basic trio it is. But if there is something she really wants, figure out what it is. You aren’t stupid. Think ahead, and plan accordingly.
Do: Buy her a frivolous gift. Yes, you have the flowers, chocolates and card, but an extra something, while not de rigueur, will be appreciated. It can be expensive jewelry, but it can also be tickets to a show, a spa day gift certificate or whatever suits her taste. A book containing pictures of your kids and maybe some of their artwork would show extra thoughtfulness.
Don’t: Buy her a practical gift. She will not appreciate a new mop, frying pan, apron or power tool. And while clothing may seem like a good option, it can be risky in the extreme. If you must, make sure you keep the receipt. And stay away from lingerie: that’s for Valentine’s Day.
Do: Spend some money, but don’t go crazy. According to the National Retail Federation, men will spend about $190 on Mother’s Day. That can seem a bit high (and remember the NRF probably has a vested interest in telling you how much to spend), but you can be generous without breaking the bank.
Don’t: Give her cash.
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