How To Turn A Fling Into A Relationship

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"Today, courting, dating and waiting for that first kiss are pretty much an old-school joke." 

In my mind, every relationship pretty much starts off as a fling. We live in a world now where courtship, as they once called it, kind of doesn’t really exist. We meet people through friends or at bars or shows, and we drunkenly hook up. If the sex is decent and that person doesn’t totally repulse us when the sun rises and we sober up, we might think about giving them a text again some day. This is one version of the way we shack up.

The other involves the internet. Forget about the mundane regularity of dating sites (meeting someone online is no longer just reserved for so-called pathetic nerds and widows, but for all of us), social media and online profiles allow us to completely scope out, stalk and judge potential suitors from the comfort of our smartphones.

We can communicate in the online world for months without ever meeting IRL -- that’s web talk for “In Real Life” -- and get to know that person through our carefully calculated online personalities and Facebook profiles. So, when we eventually do meet up IRL, we feel as though we know one another and intimacy occurs quickly.

Today, courting, dating and waiting for that first kiss are pretty much an old-school joke. We have careers to focus on, friends to hang out with and our own satisfaction comes first. Flings just work in our fast-paced world.

But what happens when your hookup partner starts to seem like an attractive option for a real relationship? How do you venture into that new territory? How do you turn a fling into the real thing?

Let’s assume that you and your fling have been hooking up for a seemingly significant amount of time. This is why you’re interested in taking it to the next level. Before vocalizing any interest in turning your casual hookups into a full-blown relationship, I suggest perception. Look at the nature of your current situation.?

Do you only text one another for late-night sex? Do you hook up when you are sober or just drunk? Do you have sleepovers, or do you leave after the sex is over? Have you ever shared a meal, hung out and actually had a decent conversation??

Who does the initiating of your meet-ups? Is it generally even? Do you know one another’s friends? Is your sexual relationship a secret or is it known by your friendship circles? Do you feel respected by him/her on a human level? Could you imagine being friends with this person??

From my experience (and, trust me, I have a lot of experience) the most loving, lasting and healthy relationships are the ones where you feel as though you are dating your best friend -- someone you trust indefinitely and can grow with. Next Page >>

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