How Self-Love Became A Political Thing

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"It is impossible to make a personal, cultural or aesthetic choice that will not appear sinister to someone."

Back in the 1960s, activist Carol Hanisch popularized the phrase “the personal is political,” and, unlike a great many other ‘60s-era slogans (“give peace a chance,” for instance), this one quickly became a reality.

In 2013, every action and preference has political overtones. Electric cars go one way; fast food, another. Whole Foods is NPR; Walmart is Fox. Bicycles are somehow aligned with certain political candidates, and Truck Nutz signify fealty to others. It is impossible, at this stage in the game, to make a personal, cultural or aesthetic choice that will not appear sinister to someone.

It doesn’t matter how personal or how intimate the choice in question is: everything is fair game. Even sex. Even, you know, that other thing that people do by themselves when sex isn’t on the table.

A recent article in New York magazine has brought this phenomenon to light in a particularly interesting way. The article concerns guys who, following some reflection, have decided to abstain from masturbation (as well as pornography and, in some cases, even sex). Among the ideas discussed are those of TEDX lecturer Gary Wilson, who maintains that watching porn can have a narcotic-like effect on your brain, leading you to require an ever more intense array of stimuli in order to feel aroused. Also discussed are the lectures of psychologist Philip Zimbardo, whose book The Demise of Guys?links indicators of male malaise (poor school performance, high ADHD rates) to a generalized preference for illusory online pleasures over normal social interactions. Finally, the article notes the recent popularity of Reddit’s “NoFap” forum, where guys encourage each other to eat right, sleep right and avoid ol’ Rosie Palms.

These are not new ideas. Practitioners of certain martial arts, for instance, have been taught to avoid ejaculation, or at least non-sexual ejaculation, for centuries, due to the belief that it saps one’s virility -- one’s essence. Adherents of Tantric sexual practices learn a similar system of values, though in that case the goal is actually increased sexual pleasure. As an experiment toward one’s personal well-being, one might not think that this sort of thing is inherently political. It’s like cutting carbs, right? It’s like squats. It’s just a thing people are doing to try and feel better.

But it’s also a battlefield.

As I write this, the top comment following New York magazine’s article reads as follows: “There are already too many pent up conservative white men with ED. This will only mean more.” Look at the links that are being made here: For commenter “Martib,” the decision to avoid “taking matters into ones own hand” contains dangerous political, medical, and even racial (for some reason) overtones.

I suppose it’s a touchy (heh) subject. On sites like Refinery29 and TheFrisky, for example, the writers assigned to cover this particular beat (also heh) seem very concerned that their “surprising” support for the idea of guys trying to manage their sexual energies does not mean that they are “anti actual masturbation,” or -- in the parlance of post-‘60s cultural theorists -- “sex-negative.” They just like the element of self-reflection, the idea of people trying to make their lives better. Next Page >>

View the original article here